A HEARTWARMING STORY

We all know Jan from her fabulous Mah Jongg cookie photos that she shared with us the other day. However, I don’t think many of us know her wonderful and very heartwarming history with our beloved game. The following is Jan’s retelling of her odyssey with Mah Jongg and how it ended up finally allowing her to bond with her mother. If you have a story about your history with Mah Jongg, please send it to me – they are wonderful memories to share. And from Jan’s story below comes this meaningful and memorable quote:

Mahj is more than just a game, as we all know.  It brings people together that we would never have been fortunate enough to meet otherwise.

18740826437c61540195b7623a458f2f

Scenes of mothers and daughters playing Mah Jongg  from “The Joy Luck Club.”

We all have great stories on our “coming into Mahj life” so I thought I would share mine with you.  When I was 4, my dad passed away.  My mom’s friends taught her the great game of Mah Jongg in order to get her out and past this most unfortunate turn.  She was 32 with 3 children.  My mom would play two nights a week…Tuesdays and Thursdays.  She often would allow me to sit quietly and watch, but not say anything!!  In just a year or so, my mom became the go-to lady in our city for everything Mahj (so that’s where I got it from!).  She represented the NMJL and was the only dealer in the city for Mahj cards.  I can still remember the lines that went around our house, both front and back door, of women lined up to pick up their cards!!  I believe at that time the cards were about 35 cents and my mom made a big 5 cents a card for selling them.  Hey, that was a lot of money for us in those days.  She also sold Mah Jongg sets and every year attended the Mah Jongg tournaments in the Catskills!  Now, the only sad thing about this, my mom would not teach me how to play.  She always would say it was an adult’s game and not for children.  Unfortunately, many precious years were lost,  both of a time when we could have bonded (which really never did happen) and my playing the game!  In 2004, I was reading over the continuing education program from my son’s high school when I noticed someone was giving a class in how to play Mahj.  I was excited!!  Basically, I knew everything about the set, just not how to read the card to play.  So, off I went!!  It was the highlight of my life!!  As it so happens, my aunt passed away that year and my cousin gave my mom her set which is a light pink Royal set that my mom had actually sold to her back around 1956.  That same year, a co-worker of my husband’s was going to China, so I asked her to look for something “old” for me in a set.  Just north of the Vietnamese border she found this unbelievable bone and bamboo set in a wood case unlike any I’ve ever seen before and brought it back home.  My only problem, no numbers on the tiles.  I kept it for a short period of time and then was asked to come back to the Mahj class to play with the new students on their last night of that year’s class.  I brought the set with me and asked the teacher if she was interested in buying it.  She was and did! (Wish I had that set back now).  That was my beginning of selling and trust me, I’ve sold a ton of sets since then.  Vermont might be small, but my name got around quickly.  I have had people call me that vacation up here during the summers to buy sets.  Last summer, I had a gentleman from the DC area call me, asking if I would teach him the game.  He came one day a week all summer and then bought a set from me. The last day he came, he brought two of this wife’s friends to play.  It was such an honor to bring this man into “our world.”  Anyways, needless to say, like all of us, I love the game and it has given me a world of friends that are so special in so many ways to me.  Mahj is more than just a game, as we all know.  It brings people together that we would never have been fortunate enough to meet otherwise.

After receiving this wonderful story, I wrote to Jan and asked if, after she took her lessons, she ever had the opportunity to play Mah Jongg with her mother. Here is her response:

Yes, I did get to play with my mom.  She is now 91 and I have to tell you, we NEVER had a good relationship, but Mah Jongg changed that.  About 5 years ago, I went to where she was then living and played with her and a few of her friends.  My mom was still a fast player!  It was the 2nd or 3rd hand and another lady threw a soap – I called it for Mahj and she called it too for Mahj, but I was next.  Needless to say, she was NOT happy with me.  Throughout the day, her friends gave me a great compliment by saying that I must have learned from her since I played as good, if not better, than she did.  I bit my tongue and just said thank you!  BUT I got to play with her a few more times before she moved to Texas to be with my brother.  About three years ago she moved to New Jersey to another brother’s home.  Two years ago, she had to go into a nursing home…AND she said that I should take her Mahj set. My brother wanted to give it to his then girlfriend when I explained to him what it meant to be able to play with your mother’s mahj set. I told him he would have to fight me to do that.  But then, I also remembered in my mom’s last will that among the few things she designated to me, was her Mah Jongg set!  YEAH!  So, I have that now and use it occasionally.  For her 90th birthday, I made my mom a quilt using materials that were things she enjoyed in life.  Major fabric was Mah Jongg fabric.  She loves it!

A quick funny….my mom’s sister – aka my aunt – would play with my mom often over the years. Her daughter came to visit with her daughter who was about five years old at the time.  Along with a 4th, they were playing when the granddaughter started talking in French.  No one else spoke French, but she was learning it in preschool.  I later heard from my cousin that her precious little daughter was going between Grandma, my mom, and the other lady, telling my cousin their tiles in French!  What a hoot!!

Oh my gosh, the stories!! AND I can tell you, I would bet I had more aunts than anyone else in this country.  They were all my mom’s Mahj friends, but we were never allowed to call someone by their first name, so it was always Aunt This or Aunt That.

Of course, you have my permission to print any part of my story.  While it isn’t the history of the game, it is the history of how people come together because of it.  Where I would not have any bond with my mom, I do because of the game.  AND because she is a sister of Mahj, and not my mom, I can see her in a different light than that of a mother.  I think that makes some sense!!

Okay, have to go get ready for tonight’s game.  NO – not not not making cookies 🙂

I know you all will have lots of comments about this wonderful and heartwarming story and I cannot wait to hear from you. Much thanks to Jan for sharing this very personal history. 

14 thoughts on “A HEARTWARMING STORY”

  1. Jan

    Good Morning Ann,I woke up just a bit before 7:00 this morning.   As is normal for me, I turned on the news and then reached for my phone to check emails.  My surprise to see the email from Mah Jongg and Me sitting there waiting to be read.  I hesitated for a brief moment, not sure I wanted to read what was inside that email, but yet, anxious to see what your blog was going to say.  Even though I knew the words that were written, they still hit me pretty hard.  As I sat up in bed, the tears came rolling down.  How sad and yet how fortunate to have events happen and play out as they did.I can never thank you enough for printing and sharing my words.  Today, I am taking a Mahj greeting card, writing something sweet to the lady that should have taught me, and for a moment, will feel better about the world. (Actually, I am going to print out both blogs and send them along with the card to my Mom).  I think she will enjoy reading all of it!Have a most wonderful day.  Much love from the my heart to yours.Jan       Time is like a river.  You cannot touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass again.  Enjoy every moment of life..•* *~`:JAN.•* *~:     

    Like

    2. Elaine

      Loved reading your story, jan, but if I may add a post-script…
      Jan and her husband came to stay on the Florida west coast to escape the bitter Vermont winter 2 years ago. She immediately researched and found a local mah Jongg website run by my friend Debra. We all arranged to meet in Tampa at the 3-day tournament after which she became a sub in both of our weekly games. Friendships began and we bonded not only as we “mushed” the tiles, but even more so as we drove together to the games. Spring came, Jan left, and sadness settled over the Bay Area. Nine long months later, and THEYRE BACK!! Our Mahj family reunites and our friendship continues. So happy to have had another 3 months with jan, a friendship that started because of her desire to meet people in a new place, and continues today no matter which state she’s in. (Unfortunately this year it’s Vermont, but we are hopeful that changes in 2016)
      Which goes to show that Mahj really is “the tiles that bind”!

      Like

      1. mahjonggandme Post author

        Elaine – thank you so much for this wonderful comment. This is a terrific coda to Jan’s story. BTW, I am not sure where Tampa is in relationship to Naples, Boca, or Miami, but I am speaking and doing book signings in Naples on January 29th and 30th, in Miami at the Wolfsonian Museum on February 1st, and at the Boca JCC Sandler Center for Jewish Life Enhancement on February 2nd. If any of these locations are close to you, I hope you and your Mahj group will be there – I would love to meet you!
        Ann

        Like

  4. Katherine

    …. What I was really thinking… Hi Jan, tears! Really, lots of tears streaming down my face. Thank you for sharing your story. The vision of you watching and not playing broke my heart. My mahjong story is so different that I cannot put myself in your place… I learned the game as a child from my mother along with my siblings… It has always been a BIG FAMILY game as it is now with my grown children who learned the game as toddlers while sitting on someone’s lap. Thank you for sharing your story, thinking that was hard to do. xoxo, Katherine

    Like

    1. mahjonggandme Post author

      Kat – I had the same reaction – I was feeling lots of different emotions when Jan sent this story to me. I am grateful that she was willing to let me post it on the blog – I think it is a really beautiful memoir.
      Ann xxo

      Like

  5. Tracy C.

    Jan, that was an absolutely beautiful story. Thanks to both you for sharing it, and to Ann for including in her blog this morning. Your mother will love it… but I do think you should whip up a batch of those brilliant cookies and include them for her in the care package 🙂 XO

    Like

  6. Jan

    I am so overwhelmed by all the responses. While I was hesitant at first to let Ann print this, I am now so grateful to her! Thank you Ann 🙂

    Like

  8. Toby Salk

    As a Mah Jongg teacher, I hear so many stories. The thread is often universal and at the end of the line, you grocked it Jan. It’s all about this wonderful community we all find and treasure. Thank you for letting us know your story.

    Like

Comments are closed.